For my final weekend in Tanzania I wanted to go to Bagamoyo, well I would have liked to have flown to Mafia Island of some snorkelling and diving but it was too last minute and I don't really have the funds for that kind of extravagance. Bagamoyo is really close to Dar-es-Salaam, only just over one hour on the bus. It's a historic town with a lot of character, the name actually means 'burn my heart' since it was the final stop off for slaves before there were shipped across to Zanzibar to be sold.
I went with the rasta guy I've been seeing for a little while now, it was supposed to be a final little trip together, a nice day out but unfortunately we argued almost from the moment we stepped off the bus. It turned out to be a bit of a disaster.
We arrived in the morning and sauntered over to the beach, on the way he wanted to stop off at a hostel to check in....what? This was not something that had ever been brought up till now, since he's a skint rasta dude he never has any money, I pay for everything. This is something that has, of course, caused many arguments. I just can't compute in my English brain how he thinks it's ok for me to always pick up the bill. In fact sometimes he orders himself drinks, I think he had a good day of business, only to find out it's on me again. It really annoys me that he never even asks if it's ok. I never thought about it too much, I rarely let guys pay for me, I'd never go out expecting to be bought drinks/food, European culture is hospitable but people pay for their own shit. Being with him makes me concerned that he just sees me as a cash machine because of my nationality. Not really the case, I'm on a budget and a tight one. I stated that we couldn't stay over since I was expected back home later and also had a lot to sort out over the next few days. We left it at that and we found the beach, quiet, overcast, fishing boats anchored in the shallows, empty beachfront restaurants sleepy in the early morning. I'm going to miss the Indian ocean. I love the sea, I love being by the sea, walking along the beach, it's so relaxing watching the waves break standing on the sand in the fresh sea breeze.
The walk led us to an old part of the town so I go my camera out and took photos, Bagamoyo was the first capital of Tanzania, it has a lot of character. I had wanted to make the trip weeks before but not got around to it so I felt happy to finally be walking through the old streets. He was in a rush to do something else and suggested we go to an old graveyard. I wasn't particularly in the mood for that sort of thing but we went. Unfortunately I get a bit annoyed over things like this because it's always on me to pay, therefore it feels like it's ultimately my decision. The guy at the site tried to bribe us to pay more since I was a tourist. I'd had enough of the one price for locals, one price for tourists set-up and endemic bribery in Tanzania so I refused to pay to go in. This made him really sulk, he suggested we leave and go back to Dar to which I refused and said if he wanted to that was fine, I was staying. This seemed me make him furious, but I don't see the point in flogging a dead horse, if we're not in good sync then call it a day and suit ourselves is my philosophy.
We calmed it and had some drinks in the afternoon in a back street bar, not a particularly comfortable or enjoyable place to sit but I suppose it was a good way to see out our last day together seeing as we often go to places like that, incredibly local joints. Then he revved into full gear on his assault on me to get us to stay the night. Impossible, I said, I'm expected home later on. He wasn't having it, we went around in circles for over an hour until finally I said I just don't want to ok. He started sulking and as the evening was drawing in we headed back to Dar-es-Salaam. I thought it was over at that point but felt indifferent, we're not compatible at all and I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who has such limited horizons, it sounds uncompassionate, I feel guilty, I know he's really poor and can't see a way out. I used to associate rasta guys with strength, manliness, now I'm not so sure. Due to the financial dynamic of the relationship and the fact that I had received a better education that him I always felt that our gender roles were being reversed and I didn't like it. It's just a bit of a shame that out final day out together went so badly, as did our final night, but that's a different story...
Fishing boats
Colonial building near the beach front
Bagamoyo an Art College and therefore many artists and stalls selling carvings, paintings and beaded things. It's also a bit of a rasta hang out so they have reggae concerts every now and then
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